Feels Like Real Life
by Stuck in a mirror
Summary: Moonfeather is just a normal she-cat in a clan ruled by toms. She needs to figure out all the secrets and free the cats that are imprisoned by the clans. What happened to StarClan and the truce at the gathering?


No.

That's the answer to everything I have ever heard. Except for one type of question.

"Do I go to my den now?"

Or: "I should leave, right?"

Sometimes even: "I bet I should bend over for my beating…"

Sorry, I went too far.

I am Moonfeather, warrior of ThunderClan. I am just a she-cat. They beat and abuse she-cats over here. So does RiverClan, then, in WindClan and ShadowClan, she-cats do the same to toms. All she-cats want to escape to the other clans. But we are closely guarded, almost all the she-cats are in the nursery at all times. Which means we have a huge nursery, because half of our cats are she-cats…and all the clans are huge! The nursery is just simple, three trees with brambles covering it, and a back which is just more brambles surrounding it, there is just one enterance/exit and it is for toms only. She-cats that are in the nursery are only to leave if they are supervised by a tom with a toms permission.

Luckily, I have not been in the nursery yet. I am sitting vigil for my clan, as all warriors must do to become warriors. But, since I am a she-cat, I am closely guarded by three other toms, who are also becoming warriors. One is very mean, one is very stupid and one is nice, but I bet they changed him, so that he will come and destroy the only thing that I have.

My dignity.

I stared out at the moon, wondering why my mother was dead. _She was somehow found dead in the nursery, teeth marks and all. _I thought bitterly, tears dripping out of my eyes. They burned like heat. My fur dampened near my muzzle. My soft green eyes burned with hatred and so, they were cold, frozen like ice.

I glared back at the three warriors. One, cruel, with a black coat, black eyes and a heart to match it. One dumb, yellow with white spots. And the last, kind with gentle blue eyes and a grey coat.

My grey coat shimmered, while my black spots sparkled. I sighed and watched the camp the rest of the night. And when dawn came, I was allowed to rest until sun-high, although the three toms were allowed to sleep in as long as wanted.

Sun-high came up and then, I was pushed out of my nest…no, my den….some she-cats are worthy enough for their own den. My mother was because she had produced so many kits…but it was like her mate's den because she was always in the nursery.

"Moonkit, your mother, Dawnflight is so beautiful, but you are the prettiest she-kit in all the land." My father would whisper in my ear. I nodded and said, "Well, you are the greatest leader in all the land."

My father, Scarstar, was the leader. He died in battle three moons before my mother had died. I was Moonpaw when that had happened. I cried as I patrolled the borders, alone, because they thought she-cats were good bait for RiverClan.

They were right. A RiverClan tom came up to me and pinned me down, "Do you have time to spare for my kits?" There was a rustle in the bushes and the spotted RiverClan tom called out the mean warrior's name. The black warrior, the one that wanted me for his own, but didn't they all? "Darkheart? Is it okay if I make her bear my kits?" Darkheart nodded, "Sure, Spottednight! But…ThunderClan gets the kits, okay?" Spottednight purred, "Perfect," and his teeth gleamed and his eyes sparkled with ambition.

This was it.

I was done.

It was interrupted. The one tom that reminded me of my father, came in and knocked the RiverClan tom off of me just as he was about to begin. "She's mine!" He growled. "I'm sorry, Smokeclaw….I didn't know…" Spottednight backed off me, and pelted away, his tail between his legs.

Now, Smokeclaw, the one who I thought was nice backed me up onto a tree. "Now that I have you, I'm going to make you MINE!" I gasped and began to cry, "Please, no!" Smokeclaw quickly whispered into my ear, "I'm just going to pretend, because cats are watching me, I want you to pretend too. I don't want you getting hurt, I'm going to protect what is yours."

My fake-penetration was over and I was yowling in fake-pain. I sighed in relief and whispered, "Thank you…" To Smokeclaw, but he was gone. I pounded back to camp to the medicine cat, who was of course, a tom because our clan needed as much she-cats up for mating as possible. "No, you aren't having kits…" he sighed sadly, "sorry." Not having kits was very depressing in this clan. Makes sense since we are practically a kit-factory. We had six apprentices, fifty warriors and thirteen kits and seven queens. That sounded like a lot right? Not really, in the clans, seventy warriors is considered amazing and a well-produced clan.

I somehow had to make it up to my angel, my savior. I padded up to him, and begged, "Is there anything I can do for you?" He sighed and took in a deep breath. "There is one thing…you don't have to do it." I cocked my head, "What?" He squeezed his eyes shut, "Can you mother my kits?"

"WHAT?!" I screeched. "I'm sorry, you don't have to do it," he sighed. "Okay….thanks," I let out a sigh of relief. "I thought I could trust you with the responsibility….because, they aren't really my kits…." He lowered his head. "I-I don't understand…."

He explained, "Darkheart got a she-cat pregnant and gave me the responsibility for them because I really liked them and he was in it for the mating. The she-cat looks a bit like you, she's black with grey spots, she's so pretty-she's beautiful…I need someone to be the 'mother' and you look a bit like her and I know you could handle this. "

I accepted and left quickly, crying my heart out. I would have loved to mother his real kits, why the heck would I say NO?! I began rip off my own fur. There was one cat that could cheer me up, Olivescar. He was the funniest and dumbest tom in our clan, again, a night ago, he was the dumb warrior that was sitting vigil. He already had a mate. Honeysky, who was a very pretty yellow she-cat with ice blue eyes. I padded over to him, "Hi!" I meowed.

"Oh, hi….do you like deathberries?"

"Deathberries will kill you…"

"Exactly."

"No, I have never taken them or tasted them. I promise to keep it that way."

"Oh okay, good! Me too!"

I laughed and purred. He smiled at me goofily. I know why Honeysky loves him. I felt a pang in my heart as I thought why I was such a rebel. I have been a warrior a two days and guess what? I haven't found a mate yet, wow….I was a disgrace to the clan…

Smokeclaw. Smokeclaw. I think I l-

"C'mon, we have to go! To get the kits, well, your kits." Smokeclaw whispered in my ear. I stood up and began the long walk. We met a tail as it retreated. Black. That was her, the mother of the kits. I took the kits. One was a replica of Smokeclaw, one was a replica of the mother and one was like me. I was honored. I purred and waited for the 'father' to name the kits. He flicked his tail at each one, "Thornkit, Nightkit and Spark-kit." I carried one kit in my mouth, one on my back and Smokeclaw carried one, the only tom.

I was congratulated as a mother and praised by elders for creating new offspring.

Life was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong.

I was right.

The kits died.

On their third day alive.

We all grieved. I recovered quickly though. I wasn't fazed, even though they were 'mine.'

I AM IN LOVE! My heart screamed out to the world, but Smokeclaw forced us to have a fake fight to break us up…now we couldn't be friends either, or even mates.

I sighed, here we went. "I don't think it was my fault that the kits died."

"Well, then why would they die? I helped them be perfectly healthy!"

"We don't trust each other…we-we shouldn't be mates."

"I'm watching you, she-cat." He spat, and it almost sounded real. I ran away whimpering, the fight unfinished. I ran far away, tears flying out of my eyes.

Where could I go?

Now.

Now was the once in a lifetime chance. I was not guarded by a tom. I could flee.

ShadowClan, that's where I would go.

I rushed into their territory and met a patrol of she-cats. My voice shook with pain, "I-I would like to join your clan."

"Have you birthed kits before?"

"Kinda."

"They died?"

"Did your mate beat you?"

"Almost but I just ran away…."

"You can join, come, hurry."

I thankfully followed them and then we entered camp. I saw Featherstar and her deputy Flowerpetal. The toms were in an enclosed den. A tiny entrance that only she-cats or a small tom could get into or out. Featherstar welcomed me like this, "You will mentor this tom, Rock-kit."

I nodded.

The ceremony came up. Rockpaw was my apprentice. I trained him perfectly.

Three moons I had been in ShadowClan. Rockpaw turned into Rocklash.

I purred and chanted his name. I think I may be falling in love. Free-will kinds of love, aren't they sweet in a world filled with prison ship?

ThunderClan warriors charged into camp, Smokeclaw and the deputy, Snarlface, were leading it. "We'd like our queen back.

Then the battle struck.

ShadowClan fought magnificently. We won and I was given the right to stay here, but for just another moon, and then they would strike again.

They said the battle was worth it for a beautiful she-cat and wonderful mentor like me.

But the battle wasn't worth it.

I thought of my mother, and my father, how they died in a battle. See, battles aren't worth it. They lost their leader and a beautiful queen.

I padded up to Featherstar and said I urgently needed to speak at the gathering. "Of course," she replied.

The gathering. It was now. I can do this. RiverClan started first, everything is going perfect. Then, WindClan. We are happy with three new apprentices, Cherrypaw, Turtlepaw and Bloodpaw.

ThunderClan's turn. "We have lost a she-cat and she is finally here at the gathering, Moonfeather." The leader announced. Smokeclaw spoke up, "Moonfeather, are you happy?" he asked sounding challenging, but I knew how he meant it, kind and caring, concerned like a father. "Yes," I said softly, but since everything was quiet, I'm sure he heard me. 'No, I miss you.' I thought in my mind.

ShadowClan. Featherstar said, "Everything is fine, but we have one of our finest warriors to speak. Come on up, Moonfeather."

A look of surprise registered on Smokeclaw's face. Pain and wanting flashed in his eyes so quickly I bet no one but me noticed it, but Rocklash did. He glared at the tom, because I know that he was in love with me. I smiled at Rocklash warmly and he blushed.

"I have a lot of things to say…" I announced. There was a bunch of murmurs but my voice broke through them, "My life is a lie." Smokeclaw yowled, "That's not true! I-" Smokeclaw stopped himself and looked down at his paws and muttered, "Nevermind…"

"Exactly! So, there are the little lies that slip inside me and slowly break me down. First, there is this: I have never had kits. It was a lie. Smokeclaw and I picked up a queen's abandoned kits. Darkheart's kits, he mated with a she-cat, her name is Melodyspots." I yowled. All eyes shifted to the queen, who blushed, "She's lying." I glared at her, "No, I am not….that's the thing. Everyone says that I lie, so I am blamed and beaten." A voice interrupted me, "That's enough, she-cat!" The RiverClan leader, Darkstar announced and slashed my flank. I stumbled back and bit down on his ear hard, enough to tear the whole thing off. Darkstar was madly bleeding and so was I. I raked his flank and fell down, unconscious.  
_

I was running in an endless forest. Alone. Then, I saw a handsome warrior. The most handsome in the forest. I purred at him and he smiled at me and back out of the shadows. "Smokeclaw!" I gasped rubbed my head against his chest. A battle began and he stood in front of me, his fur fluffed up, making him look twice his size which was HUGE.

He kept me safe.

In my sleep, I was murmuring, "Smokeclaw, Smokeclaw…." And then I woke up in the ThunderClan medicine cat's den with several cats standing in front of me, "I wasn't even finished…" I murmured. "It was enough though," Darkheart growled. 'Why was he in here? I thought bitterly. I purred and giggled, "Sure…" and rolled my eyes. There was one thing that I noticed. Smokeclaw didn't care enough to be in here. "Where's Smokeclaw?" I asked. "Right here," A voice purred and padded out of the shadows. "Oh, hi…" I said awkwardly, looking away from him. "I'm on the other side of you, He pointed out. "I know," I sighed. "Oh…" He meowed.

My death was near, as the medicine cat, Berryscratch had told me. I ignored him and continued on being a warrior. As warriory as a she-cat in a clan led by toms can be. I was closely watched, like one time when I went hunting alone I had six cats watching me. I pretended they weren't there and they didn't bother me. That's what always happens. Ugh, why are she-cats treated so unfair? That's what the toms in WindClan and ShadowClan must think….

Berryscratch was my friend. I asked him, "Have you ever gotten a sign from StarClan?" And his response was a whisper, "StarClan hasn't said anything to anyone since the toms took over the clans. Then, the she-cats rose and took over WindClan and ShadowClan. There was thought to be a sign in a mouse. It's fur was outgrown in one spot and it formed four letters, s, t, o, p. It showed up in each clan, but we all ignored it. And it think it's for the best. "

I shook my head and left.

Five moons of chasing my tail trying to find something. A sign or a dream, something that can help me through my future.

Then, there was smoke billowing in the forest. A dead kit was smoking up and his claws were sharp and huge and I know what this meant. 'Have kits with Smokeclaw.'


End file.
